"A Family Of Cardinals Started The Proceedings Of Excommunication!"

 Good Monday Morning, y’all.

The bluejays are full of scorn. The female titmice flashed me in disgust. The woodpeckers pounded a tree and screamed their disapproval. The chickadees chattered, “yeh, you rite,” and shot me the bird while a family of cardinals started the proceedings of excommunication. The hummers just hummed.

I apologized profusely and tried to explain that it wasn’t my fault. It was Perky Pet!

That’s right. After rebuilding and rebuilding while searching for years to replace the original Cathedral Feeder with a new one, my wife actually found one.

That first feeder lasted, with some help, about ten or twelve years. I cajoled, chastised and even caressed that feeder. At one point, I believe that I totally rebuilt every aspect of that feeder using bleach, glue, gesso, varnish, finishing nails, and one ply plywood. I attached it to a stand that was originally belonged to a bluebird feeder until I accidentally backed into it with my lawn tractor.

Sadly, this new Perky Pet Feeder is slowly falling apart like a French cathedral. It is barely two years old. Damn those Chinese! Let’s make America Great Again by first designing and building a better bird feeder!

Of course, I was smart because I bought two more of the famous feeder, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna give those birds the satisfaction of a new place to worship even if it is easier to just replace it. They are just gonna have to go out and, and eat worms… or something.

I wonder if there are any “building code” violations to poorly built bird feeders that I can pursue?

Copyright 2023/Ben Bensen III