Friday, October 31, 2014

"Hey Mary Poppins, Where's Your Umbrella?"

Can always count on Mary to be "Spit, Spot!"
"LET'S GO FLY A KITE,
UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHTS.
LET'S GO FLY A KITE, AND WATCH IT SOARING!
UP TO THE ATMOSPHERE, 
UP WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR'
OH, LET'S GO... FLY A KITE!"
Tee and I went to dinner last night and were, between bites, laughing quite heartily. Okay, we actually were laughing our asses off, at some of the second grader hijinks that occurred in her class yesterday. She asked me if I knew how to edit film on the computer. 
"Uh... yeh, I guess so. Why?"
"Cuz I bought some Disney animal adventure videos and everyone of them has animals either eating each other or fornicating... or both!"
She said," For Halloween, I showed this video about "Hootie Owls" and it opens up on a giant owl killing a rabbit!" As she continues, I'm practically in tears.
"Awwww," Mrs. Bensen, what happened to the little bunny?" 
"And before I could finish my explanation, the commentator started talking about procreation... And, and, and... I couldn't jump fast enough to hit the pause button!"
"Then, Therese says,"Then, Sarah, a pixie little ginger haired, girl blurts out, "Oh, Mrs. Bensen, I know all about that and how it works!"
"I usually screen these shows before I present them to the kids, but who would've thought a cute, Halloween Hootie Owl, vid would be... would be... be so full of SEX and VIOLENCE!"
After almost spitting out a bite of trout, laughing, I asked her, knowing that tomorrow was Friday and the class would be celebrating "Character Book Day," what reading or video were you gonna show to the kids?
"MARY POPPINS!" she yells out..."That's pretty safe, I'm sure!"
So, this morning, as the sun is coming over the trees and I prepare to do a bit more of my painting of the back paddock, I asked Therese as she's starting to drive out...
"Hey Mary, hope you didn't forget your umbrella!"
"Oh, she says, "That's a great idea!"


Copyright 2014/ Ben Bensen III

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

"Any Excuse To Have A Breakfast At Russell's...



Happy, Happy Birthday, Baby!
Well, I'm in New Orleans at Russell's Marina Grill... doing breakfast. I had to have an excuse to go, so I asked my wife what she wanted for her upcoming birthday. The conversation went something like this:

"What do you want to do for your birthday?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"Well, I ain't gonna buy you no clothes, for sure... You've got enough of that stuff you don't never, ever wear," I said.

Noticing the obvious and copious use of double negatives, she said," No, don't get me anything to wear, OKAY?"

"Okay," I said... how about some flash drives?" You always seem to lose 'em!"

Not appreciating my sarcastic compliment, she said," I don't want you to spend any money on that school stuff... and don't get me any more socks either!"

"Okay, okay!" Just let me know if you think of something, okay?"

Five minutes or a few batters from the KC vs SF game, Therese voted to have our home carpets cleaned.

"I'm not paying for the carpets to be cleaned, FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!" 

"That's just crazy," I said.

"Well, we haven't had them cleaned since Brian left," she replied in a rather subdued way.

"No way, no way! Thinking twice, I said, "Has it really been that long?"

"Geez, I guess I better check the AC filters, huh? It's really been THAT long, I inquired... rather sheepishly.

"I got it, I got it," she blurted out. 

"The PHANTOM"... let's go see it again! It's at the Saenger coming soon, I think," she said.

"Cool," I said, "I'll get 'em at the box office tomorrow!

And, that's why...well, I'm in New Orleans at Russell's Marina Grill... doing breakfast.




Copyright 2014/Ben Bensen III

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"The Young Rascals, The Realtor and Good Lovin'..."

My acoustic guitar and my 1966 Fender Bandmaster.

I picked up the guitar last night before I went to sleep while my wife laid in bed with her computer, writing lesson plans. Without going into details, I stumbled through, a Merle Haggard song, "If We Make It Through December", The Beatles, "This Boy", and "Slow Down!"
It's not like riding a bike!
I remember spending practically half our holiday vacation with our SoCal friends, a few years back, working on that specific song. My friend bought his daughter a really nice, cherry red, Fender Strat, which eventually disinterested her. Personally, I think he bought it for himself, but that's another story for another time. I had that song down pat, including all the heart felt inflections Merle put into it.
Last night, I could barely remember the intro.
Why am I mentioning all this? Well, that morning I met a real estate agent to discuss the sale of a small corner lot in LaCombe, LA. It was time to get serious about the property which had been for sale for about seven months or so. We planned to meet at a local Starbucks. 
I was late. She was even later.
Over a venti dark roast, we exchanged profiles and niceties. We talked about the property and she gave me the big sell complete with her credentials. When I inquired for more details about her past, just to get a better feel for her expertise, she tells me all about her musician days; what she did, who she performed with, traveling the world with her Gibby L-3 acoustic guitar which her dad gave to her at the age of thirteen.
Well, that was all I needed to know to hire her. 
"Okay, okay, enough of this business stuff," I said. "Tell me more about the kind of music you once played and how you survived as a woman playing music, soloing from one gig to another in a time when only "folksies" allowed females to play like that!"
We spent the next hour, sipping coffee and telling tales of gigs gone by, musicianship, favorite guitars to play, and lots of backstage shenanigans. We talked about crazy stuff, like creating your own vibrato in songs like "Anyway, You Want It!" We both cracked up when she asked me if I ever sang some guitar parts instead of playing them. 
"Oh yeh,' I said with a little bit of embarrassment."Like the song byThe Young Rascals called,"Good Lovin", I said."It's impossible to play that instrumental part without a band behind you because it sounds so thin." 
"You use to play that song?"she asked. "I loved that group!"
So, here we are, two fifty or sixty plus year olds, just playing and laughing like ten year old kids. I loved every minute of it. I asked her if she still played gigs anymore, and she told me of a restaurant called, "Cosmos," where she and her husband currently play every third Wednesday night of the month. She and her husband are looking for a good, solid bass guitarist "that knows all the tunes."
We had a ball that morning and left vowing to keep in touch. We sealed the deal with a C#maj7... smooth!
That Friday evening, it was late, but Tee was still up correcting papers and writing lesson plans on her laptop. I was restless as could be. I was exhausted from the day, but not at all sleepy. I thought about checking the scores, or reading a book on the B-24 bomber. Then, I stared at my guitar and thought about my conversation with the realtor. My Guild, D-55, which I bought back in 1978, stared back at me like it always does, and has since 2001. The closest I come to playing it, is dusting it. It is an icon to a past I'd just soon forget. 
My 1966 Fender Bandmaster amp, big and beautiful, but not as powerful as it looks, stands proud and shiny, just begging me to flip on the red light. The last time I used it was for a disastrous Christmas gathering with my family way back in 2004. I stunk. My hands hurt. I couldn't remember some of the words or the chords to even the simplest Christmas tunes. I must have been wasted on eggnog! It was clear to me, I would never again be that bad in front of anybody.
Moving on from Merle, I jumped from one guitar ride to another kinda free associating one lick for another and timidly singing...  no, mumbling the words to "Brown Eyed Girl", "Honey Don't", "Born to Run,""Born On A Bayou," and "I Feel A Whole Lot Better," I played for about an hour, "skipping' and a jumping'" until my uncalloused fingers hurt.
My wife, who once sang and played a ukelele in a family girls group said, "You never do finish an entire song anymore, do you?"
It sent me back to a time when we were first married driving up and down Acadiana singing, "If I Fell." I sang it straight while she sang the counter part that Lennon sang in that song. She was always in tune.
"I know,"I said, putting my baby back on it's' stand."I really don't know what that is." 
I, then, turned off the light, rolled away from her computer's blue glow, and fell to sleep.

Copyright 2014/ Ben Bensen III





Friday, August 29, 2014

"Hurricane Katrina, Sun Studios, And The German Elvis Fans!"

"Let's Git Reel Go-an!"
Today is the ninth year anniversary of the visit from "Lady Katrina." There will be tons of memorials and pictures of the incredible devastation and confusion her visit to my hometown created. If you are a native, you were affected in some way. My mom's rebuilt home in the Gentilly area was destroyed not by the hurricane, but by the flood that came a day later. I could expatiate further on those sad coincidences.

Living sixty miles north in a town called Folsom, we were also touched by this lady. We lost over sixty two trees of various sizes and shapes and had to have my roof completely replaced. But given what others went through, for weeks on end, we did alright.

Katrina was a very big storm and she covered a wide swath of devastation. Having said all that, once our neighbors helped cut eleven sixty and eighty foot pines into smaller pieces on Tuesday, the day after the storm, my mom, son, wife and I split for anywhere where an air conditioner was working. We drove north up I-55, stopping only for gas, if we could find a station that could sell us some. Brookhaven, McComb, Jackson were all picking up the pieces. We didn't find electricity until we hit Southaven, MS, which is just across the river from Memphis.

When we arrived at a Hampton Inn, we found many displaced New Orleanians, seated and watching on CNN, horrified at what was occuring in our hometown. It was the first time I ever used Google maps/ earth to actually find my mother's house... eight feet under water.

But, New Orleanians, being a hardy and party bunch, it didn't take much time to realize life goes on within you or without you. We decided to embrace all that Memphis had to offer, and Memphis went out of their way to make every "refugee" feel welcomed. With discounted prices, if you could prove you were displaced, we enjoy strolling Beale Street, eating soul food, and fried chicken dinners, visiting Elvis's "Graceland" and finally, my favorite, Sun Studios.

I never was an Elvis fan in the way that many fans were. But, reading the book, "Mystery Train" made me want to visit what many consider the birth of rock 'n roll, Sun Studios. I won't go into the history of Sam Phillips and his foursome of seminal talent, Elvis, Jerry Lee, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash... amongst others. You can look it all up at: http://www.sunstudio.com/home-alt/ , or read the book.

I will say, the place had a dusty, eerie feeling of past ghosts with memorabilia, stories and really basic recording equipment. The high point of the very low key tour was the studio where rock'n roll history was made. It was pretty sparse, but if you've ever heard the RCA re-release of the album, "Sun Sessions" you'd know that besides Elvis "reel go-an" voice there was only one lead guitar (Scotty Moore ), one standup bass ( Bill Black ), and Elvis rhythm guitar. There was no piano, no drums, no other instruments there... just an old fashion metal microphone that some German and British tourists had to embrace and sing a line or two from Elvis's early homespun catalogue. They sang into the mike rather timidly, and with very little hip shaking,  but with much awe and respect for this unique opportunity to be so close to the beginning of rock 'n roll... me too!

"That's all right mama, that's all right for you, That's all right, mama, anyway you do...

"That's all right!"


Copyright 2014/Ben Bensen III



Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Don't It Make My Blue Eyes, Brown!"

Reading War and Peace?
You know, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go! There's no need to expatiate on the in's and out's of that biological effect. It would certainly be "TMI," that is, "too much information!" But, honestly, when you're are standing in line inside the restroom and there are two "patrons" ahead of you awaiting one of the two stalls to clear to... uh, "Oo-Poo-Pah-Doo," well, it can get pretty scary!

Just for fun...compliments of Jesse Hill!

http://youtu.be/tIZOKVk-kQo

Apparently, it had gotten passed the point of looking elsewhere for these two characters too!

Stall "A" was inhabited when I arrived. It was still inhabited when I left. Needless to say, the mind reels. We were all looking for some sign of life, hoping to hear the toilet paper roll. A grunt, a groan, a sigh! When we thought we heard the rustle of newspapers, one "patron" mumbled," He'd make Leo Tolstoy proud!" I thought it was a very polite, and educated comment coming from a guy who had been waiting so long to go. I shouldn't have been too surprised,  after all, we were waiting our turn at a Barnes and Noble bookstore!

As one "patron" exited Stall "B," he loudly expressed his gratitude.

"Thanks man, I REALLY appreciate it. I was beginning to fear my blue eyes were turning brown!"

We all laughed, but still there's was no movement or sounds emanating from Stall"A" and as the second patron next in line bent over to see a pair of blue jeans crumpled over black dress shoes, I remembered how a few years back, we'd have a laugh at Barnes and Nobles expense.

I recall, how, whenever one would type a word in the search column, and sometimes, even if you'd just type something on your timeline, the bookstore popup would "pop up", reminding one that it had all one would need to find info on that topic. Naturally, though it was a rather juvenile thing to do, one could type in some pornographic term and sure enough, Barnes and Noble had all you could imagine on that topic.

Maybe, it was just the rebellious artist in me that made it so much fun... maybe!

Another nervous laugh came out as the toilet flushed in Stall"B" and the patron said,"I'm almost finished. I just got one more chapter to finish!"

Still, not a sound from Stall"A."

Desperate to distract my bowels, I thought about the time that there were a couple of women waiting at a restaurant restroom. Having the convenience of being a guy, I snickered as I entered the men's restroom, did my thing, and walked out only to see the short line of women waiting hadn't moved at all. Three women took my offer to stand outside and guard the men's room as they entered to relieved their worried minds! It was quite a rewarding feeling to have offered such a chivalrous thing. Now I know how good deeds done make a Boy Scout's day. I also, now, understand what it is like walking around in a woman's... uh, shoes!

As the second patron jumped into Stall "B," he mentioned the movie,"A Weekend With Bernie!" and said,"I think we got us a stiff seated on that toilet. Whadd'ya think?"

"I think I'm about ready to explode," I replied. Still, there was not a sound coming from Stall"A".

Nothing!

"Good luck, dude," he said to me as the first patron dried his hands and walked out of the door.

"Thanks," I said, as I contemplated the invasion of the women's restroom. "Maybe, we should call, 911?"

"Yeh, how would we explain that one?"said the voice from Stall"B".

A minute or two later, the sound of a flushing toilet interrupted my contemplating that eventuality.

"I'm done, I'm done," he said, "it's all yours!"

"Praise 'da Lord" I said, as I checked myself briefly in the mirror.

"Good, I thought, My eyes are still blue!"


Copyright 2014/Ben Bensen III








Friday, August 1, 2014

"The Tony Gwynn Winners, Baseball, And Me!"

My happy winners, Samantha and Keola LaGrimas...
 It was great fun.  One half an hour before Adobe started giving away their raffle prizes, I confidently marched over to one of the school administrators, Linda Sellheim, and requested that she announce my intention to raffle off the portrait. I had started painting the portrait a while after lunch, but was often distracted by the many visitors who, sort of, look over my shoulder as I struggled with Tony Gwynn's likeness and chit chat.

I'll always stop to talk baseball!

Linda graciously announced my intention to raffle off Tony. I was flattered as there was just as much excitement for the raffle as there was for Adobe's promo. Linda's a real promoter and was quite effusive with her praise of me and the portrait. The little dynamo and I go way back to Art Center days.

As the first no-show name was pulled I thought, "Oh great... no one's hung around for this!"  But, the second pick from the "hat", sprung forth Samantha and Keola LaGrimas from San Diego, the couple I had spent quite a bit of time talking baseball and our love for Tony Gwynn. Both are graphic designers who, like me, had a booth at the San Diego ArtExpo... who knew?

Their enthusiasm for winning really made me feel that the effort was well worth it.  We three posed for promo pics with their prize, and this is one of them. I would have loved to spend more time with Samantha and Keola, but I had a late night dinner appointment I was gonna be late for, if I had started talking baseball with the winners.

Copyright 2014/Ben Bensen III

Saturday, July 26, 2014

"San Diego ComiCon, The ArtExpo And The Tony Gwynn Extravaganza!"

San Diego's favorite son...
Had a great time at the ArtExpo here in San Diego, where nerdy "conventioneers" abound.  Being from New Orleans, one would think I'd understand the need to dress up, but I don't!  Certainly, I have no animosity or disdain for those that do, I just don't get the need to be something or someone else!  Kinda like wearing sports jerseys with your favorite player’s name on it.

Anyway, on the second day, in between guests strolling by my "booth,” I decided to paint San Diego's recently deceased favorite son, Tony Gwynn.  Originally, I had planned to demo my traditional marker style and talk about my slideshow, but the way the expo was situated, that wasn't possible.  But, I had planned to demo/paint a portrait or an aircraft.   Since the demographics of this venue would care less about a finished piece of aviation history, I decided to go for Tony. 

Funny though, I pressured myself with the final by offering to raffle it off at the end of the evening, even though I had little idea that it would turn out this nicely.   I even wrote a note stating that I'd raffle it off if it was worth raffling off.

The note got a lot of chuckles from people passing by.  It might have even encouraged some to add their name in the "hat!"

I had been working on it for about four hours when I decided to take a walk, grab a "cab" and stroll amongst beautifully costumed ladies and scary, one of a kind ghouls, witches, warlocks, Sherlocks and dead bolt locks!  (El Dia de los Muertos" continues to rule along with dark, forbidden icons from a religious past!) 

Of course, when I returned to my beloved baseball icon, it looked more like a "Picasso Armageddon!"  My deadline was 9 pm and I now had less than two hours to get Tony recognizable, or I'd have to announce to the crowd that I'd be too embarrassed to give it away!

If I have the courage to announce anything to the crowd.

I decided to share my progress with people putting their names in the hat, which really ratcheted up my enthusiasm.  About this time, some serious fans of Tony Gwynn came by to share their love of the ball player.  One woman said she cried for days when he passed away, and one couple said that they have such an abundance of Gwynn memorabilia that the collection has almost become an altar to Tony.

It was great fun.  One half an hour before Adobe started giving away their raffle prizes, I confidently marched over to one of the school administrators, Linda Sellheim, and requested that she announce my intention to raffle off the portrait.

Well, I didn't win one year's subscription to CC6 or a T-shirt or any other goodies from Adobe, but after the conclusion of their gift giving, Linda graciously announced my intention to raffle off Tony, and there was just as much excitement as there was for Adobe's promo.   Linda's a real promoter and was quite effusive with her praise of me and the portrait.   The little dynamo and I go way back to Art Center days... and, she’s still prone to hyperbole, ha!

As the first no-show name was pulled I thought, "Oh great... no one's hung around for this!"  But, the second pull sprung forth Samantha and Keola LaGrimas from San Diego, the couple I had spent quite a bit of time talking baseball and our love for Tony Gwynn.

Their enthusiasm for winning really made me feel that the effort was well worth it.  We three posed for promo pics with their prize, and luckily, for me, Therese took a few, too. 


We ended the day with a toast to a job well done, and then continued the night with a late dinner at the "Juniper and Ivy" restaurant in downtown San Diego, just Linda and her husband Mark, Tee, and me.


Copyright 2014/Ben Bensen III