Tuesday, March 17, 2015

"Well, I Almost Did It Again"...







Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to wake up and start your day.  I had a flight to San Francisco from my home in South Pasadena to do some artwork for an agency's car account. I had, the night before, prepared my bags and art supplies and stashed them in the car. All I had to do, was wake up, clean up a bit, grab a cup of coffee for the road and go. It must have been the coffee that distracted me so, for I left the water running to get hot and walked right out of the door.

The water ran continuously until it spilled out over the sink and filled the bathroom floor. It was starting to soak our master bedroom when, my wife awoke and shut the water off. It wasn't until she called me, that I realized what I had done.

Well, today, about twenty years later, I almost did the same thing. Getting myself together to meet a friend at a local restaurant, I took a good long look at myself in the bathroom window and realized that I needed to shave. Knowing how long the water takes to heat up, I decided to "multitask" by running into the kitchen to get my coffee microwaved. Of course, I had to get my laptop and put it in the computer bag, find my daily reminder book and check to see about some clothes I had washed the night before. I decided to put out the dog, while I threw the clothes in the dryer.

By this time, my coffee was hot enough to transfer over to my metal go cup and wash the cup that I used to microwave the coffee. Naturally, there were a few more dishes in the sink, so I figured I take care of that too.

"Okay, I thought to myself. Where's my cellphone? Is it charged? Got my bag, got my glasses, got coffee in my go cup...okay, I hope I put my keys where they are supposed to be. Good, there they are... let's get out of here.

Uh-oh, where's the dog?

I scream out my dog's name and scream even louder the keyword to his obedience...

"Pierre, come get a TREAT!"

He comes zooming out of nowhere from the back yard, and skids to a halt, and "at attention!'

He gets his treat, and I, move on.

I look around once more and do my daily check down. Even though their was there premonition that I was missing something important, I shrugged it off and strolled out to the car.

"Did I close all the doors in the house so our cocker spaniel won't do something I'd have to kill him for later!" No... everything is cool, and I'm out of here.

I jumped in the car, hang my blazer on the passenger side hook, drop my cellphone into the door panel, put my coffee cop into the holder and start up the car. Backing out of the driveway, I put on the radio and as usual, a commercial was one.

"Oh great, another five minutes of the big sell," I said to myself, as I head out to the main road leading out of the subdivision. I normally turn the sound down on the radio for I am quite familiar with this particular sportstalk programming. This time, I didn't.

Dan Patrick, who now has his own radio talk show,  comes over the crisp, early morning air and asks,

"Have you ever tried the latest in shaving technology, the Dollar Shave Club. com?"

"Aw, shit," I screamed, as I slam on the brakes, turn into someone's driveway, and just sit and shake my head in disgust...

"You asshole!"


Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III









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