Tuesday, February 24, 2015

"My Dog Wants Me Dead!"

Vivid Evidence...
We have a cocker spaniel that we saved from the doggie gallows about seven years ago. We figured
that we'd rescue some silly "Heintz 57" mutt and that would be just fine for me and my wife, who always wanted a dog. When we lived in Los Angeles, our yard was just too small to put a dog in. It would have been an incarceration even for a dog the size of a chihuahua. But now, living in the country, we had lots of room for a dog to be happy.

Much to our surprise, sitting there all primped up and sassy with those eyes that said, "They gonna kill me if you don't take me home, soon... and I got papers!" My wife was smitten. I don't know if it was the cute little blue ribbon tied into a bow around his neck or the sad, sad story the dog keeper at the pound spun to convince Therese to choose "Pierre!"

Oh brother!

Over the last couple of years, it has come to my attention that he really wants "my woman," the alpha female, all to himself. And, the only way to accomplish that before his doggie years catch up to him, is to knock off the alpha male. Case in point, he grabs my favorite chair when I get up for a beer, he hoards and hides the tv remote, he quickly jumps in bed next to the "babe" whenever I get up and she is still in bed, and he chews on my paint brushes and my Prismacolor art pencils whenever he can sneak into my studio. He practically knocks me over trying to beat me to door to get outside and is always under my feet whenever food is involved.

I believe, also, that he has the ability to read my lips or seems to have a sixth sense even though, he chooses to ignore thoughts I angrily vibe to him. He's the complete embodiment of a "beelze-pup."

"Ya got nuthin' on me, dude!"
And, when he is disciplined for an occasional wrong doing, he doesn't send any contrite vibes my way. He just looks at me with disdain and contempt. It smells like retribution! Somehow, he will find a way to get back at me, usually, in the classic doggie way, on our carpet, and next to a favorite houseplant of mine.

Every now and then, he outdoes himself. Once, we put him in the washroom overnight to discipline him for house infractions, and in the morning, found he had shredded the Levolor blinds complete with tooth marks and puncture holes.

But, this time, he's gone to far.

For some strange reason, maybe because they distorted his night vision, he took his frustrations out on my prescribed reading glasses. They were chewed to bits with scratches and tooth marks on the lenses. Maybe, he thought they'd be cooler than they actually were, or maybe, he thought he could somehow mentally destroy me through some psychic laser beam conducted through the glasses. But probably, it was just payback for some derogatory comment or thought I had about him but didn't verbally express, but one which he picked up on as the thought bounced off some orbiting satellite and landed into his dome!

Be careful what, and how, you think!

Who knows what his reasoning was, but when I related the story to my animal loving, barrel racing, friend of mine, she spared no sympathy for me or my glasses.

She said," Maybe, you deserved it!"


Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III






Wednesday, February 18, 2015

"Mardi Gras" and "Iko Iko!"




Some pics from the Mardi Gras weekend here in New Orleans.

My grandma and your grandma
Were sittin' by the fire
My grandma told your grandma

"I'm gonna set your flag on fire"
Talk 'bout, hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Iko iko un-day, hey, hey, hey
Jock-a-mo fee-na ai na-ne, jock-a-mo fee na-ne
Look at my king all dressed in red
Iko, iko, un-day
I betcha five dollars he'll kill you dead
Jock-a-mo fee na-ne
Talk 'bout, hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Iko iko un-day, hey, hey, hey
Jock-a-mo fee-na a na-ne, jock-a-mo fee na-ne
See that man, all dressed in green
Iko, iko, un-day
He is a man, he's a lova machine
Oh jock-a-mo fee na-ne
Talk 'bout, hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Iko iko un-day, hey, hey, hey
Jock-a-mo fee-na a na-ne, jock-a-mo fee na-ne
My flag boy and your flag boy
Sittin' by the fire
Your flag boy and my flag boy
We're gonna set their flags on fire
Talk 'bout, hey now, hey now
Hey now, hey now
Iko iko un-day, hey, hey, hey
Jock-a-mo fee-na a na-ne, jock-a-mo fee na-ne
Talk 'bout, hey now
Talk 'bout, hey now, hey now
Iko iko un-day


You can see the rest of my Mardi Gras pics at: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10205033602112728&set=ms.c.eJxVksFtBTAIQzeqMIYA~_y9Wt4d~_95JIT8YYEkRGB~%3BkigZzcL~%3ByRFtmgkcfOZRmZkeZ51T65XH6IXJjXz0jW5O0Y4SMDrukYRruPGGPOyIggLA9OJxofokuataqESMKqMinic2UR1KhGWr3ovVLdKGRkDuR41fFYMA3jmlWWh~%3BghY87MNyzfoSpGGW1jnPx9ESM7WmNZ98IqTto2KqWZf5oqadZ8GtO8Zwm7rys8Yc9OIS1hr0aAJ~_ybLrjPC6Aw9lv0hF0J1yRRGu0bO6SD3w~-~-.bps.a.10205033601872722.1073741830.1622856823&type=1&theater


Happy Mardi Gras Day After!

Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III
















Wednesday, February 4, 2015

"Remembering Cookies And Milk"...

Trying to keep my world in balance...
Remember how, when you were a little kid, you'd have your milk and cookies before brushing your teeth and hopping into bed? Remember how you'd run out of milk before you'd finish your cookies, so you poured yourself another glass of milk, and proceed to devour your cookies, only to find that, now, there wasn't enough cookies to help you finish off your milk? Remember how this could continue ad infinitum unless your dad or mom put a stop to it and when they did you felt like the earth was gonna fall off its axis... or some other cosmic imbalance was gonna have you awake and worried all night?
Well, I just did that with peanut butter and jam on two rice cakes and a cup of coffee.

Because I could...

And, because the coffee wasn't hot!


Copyright 2015/Ben Bensen III




Wednesday, January 21, 2015

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Mardi Gras, Everywhere You Go!"

Krewe of Zulu 
This is a historical display of the Krewe of Zulu at the Lakeside Mall in Metairie, LA. I shot this while downing some beignets and coffee at Cafe Du Monde after having had a wonderful talk with a tech dude at the Apple Store which is directly across from this display. 

In the fifties, my sisters and I were forbidden to go and follow the Zulu parade although they did follow the main Krewe, which was called,"Rex" and ran the entire distance on St. Charles Avenue into downtown New Orleans. 

 Zulu revelers, at one time, wore grass skirts and African attire with their faces all painted up like Indian warriors occasionally throwing real and sometimes decorated coconuts out to the crowd. You had to be on your toes to not get beaned with a flying coconut. Most of the time, revelers in costume would just point to a particular person from the crowd and hand the valued coconut to the parade goer, but I have heard some wild stories of the damage a thrown coconut could do.

Drunken fist fights, knife and gun play were all my parents heard, which did occur back in the twenties and thirties when the club was in it infancy. It wasn't until we were well into our teens that we really got to see what the krewe was all about and by that time, the krewe was sporting lavish costumes of beads and feathers not unlike the Mardi Gras Indians as they danced threw the parade route on foot and on floats.



The Zulu Mayor's Costume
Anyway, here in the local mall, as in New Orleans, Christmas trees and quickly turned into Mardi Gras trees with fleur de luis, tragi-comedy masks, strings of beads and purple, gold and green ribbons. King cake parties abound everywhere and red and green decorations give way to purple, gold and green. For sure, it will be a fun time before Ash Wednesday and the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club will be definite part of the celebrations.

Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III










Friday, January 9, 2015

"Frozen Tundra, Taxes And A Chickadee!"

A Folsom, LA resident from the Carolinas...
Well, yesterday, I did just about everything I could do to put off finishing my expense report for the year, 2014. I even cleaned both toilets, cleaned my paintbrushes and dusted the poinsettia, but when I finally got in the tax groove again, I was distracted, thankfully, by birds pecking at the frozen bird bath looking for a drink. The temperature barely got over freezing and three different times, I warmed up some water to melt the ice and give the birds a drink. The bird bath froze over within a few minutes each time.

Around 3 or 4pm, a chickadee ( pictured below ) skated across the "frozen tundra" in search, once again, for a drink, and this time I warmed up a bigger pot of water and within a few minutes poured it over the frozen ice. Naturally, he took off for the safety of our maple tree, but five minutes later, or about a half dozen miscalculations on my expenses, I noticed once again, the little bird with a "best man" tuxedo on, always sharp with clean lines, a perfectly white and starched shirt and cummerbund with a black bow tie and top hat, was perched along side of the bath. Nervously straddling the rim and the water line, he leaned over to test the water to get a drink.

Or so I thought!

The bird took about few sips and then, totally immersed himself in the still warm and steamy pool, splashing around, dunking his head, and then shaking it, spreading his wings and tail feathers to take full advantage of the temporary jacuzzi I provided just for him... or so, he thought.

Feeling refreshed, and much more spry than before he plunged into the healing warm waters, he hopped out of the bath, shook off the many droplets of warm water and rested for a moment, as if to catch his breath. As he did, steam was wafting off his little body, like someone who jumps out of a hot jacuzzi, runs and jumps into a bank of snow, and then, dives back into the warm, bubbling jacuzzi.


After straightening out his little formal attire, in the blink of an eye, he was gone! And, I just sat there, amazed!


Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III



Thursday, January 1, 2015

"No Need To Test The Waters With Your Little Toe"...

Oh Tannenbaum...
Not quite ready to embrace the new year, not me, not yet. All too quickly, the tree is down, the presents opened and the greeting cards from friends become a package from the IRS. Sorry, I'm still enjoying Christmas... stubbornly, I guess.
No need to test the water with your little toe, because you're gonna get pushed in regardless. That's my thoughts about the new year! Let everyone else, go racing into the new year... whichever year... pick one!

Holding hands, we stared at the blinking lights on the tree,
Though Christmas is gone, it’s not for you or for me.
The glowing angel on the treetop, her wings spread out so wide, 
Seemed to pine for a tune ‘bout the Christmastide.

Though we searched and we searched,
For the angelic snow queen. 
All we could find, to really set the right scene 
Was an auld lang syne tune sung high up and clean,
It’s a auld lang syne song to welcome 2015!

Happy New Year, Y’all... I guess!

Copyright 2015/ Ben Bensen III

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